Bad Christians

Getting close to the fire of taking action

I would tell you about my struggles lately, but the last time a man sat down to write about his struggles it didn’t end very well 🥸(🥁💥).

Well here it is, and maybe you can relate to it: For as long as I can remember, I don’t like to practice my guitar or any instrument for that matter.

If I have a lesson one week, and the next one is two weeks from that date, I will “plan” to practice every day until the next lesson.

Yet in reality, I will only start “hitting the books” until 2-3 days before the lesson when the fear of embarrassment would start to really amp up nicely.

Oh it’s a thrill to be motivated by the fear of embarrassment.

Cortisol starts to drip, the stress hormones that will eat away at my health. In this moment I will trade peace of mind for toxic chemicals that I can manufacture in my mind’s factory.

Let’s put off what we need to do so we can go on an emotional rollercoaster baby.

Some people experience the joy of being organized and on top of things every day, but that’s not the majority of us.

---

I see your log of Netflix and HBO recent watches. You’re quite on top of that.

Your kids seem to be on time for all their school and extra-curricular activities which is nothing short of a miracle considering the amount of pages, text messages and pieces of content your phone has visited in the past two hours alone.

And I’m on top of the TV show that plays in my mind all day long like the fireplace channel except it looks and sounds more like the checkout line at Costco full of fiery Italian and Pakistani families.

What it all comes down to is that we loathe the shame and embarrassment of being a bad Christian (insert your religion there), and we are conditioned to do things the “right way” or by the book.

Many of us are brought up on the ideals of success rather than experimentation.

This is what I think the Zen Buddhists and the Taoists mean when they talk about that word salad involving doing the work for the work itself and not the outcome.

It’s an opening up to experimentation.

Yes, I will not play this piece as well as Pepe Romero did with an orchestra behind him. Yet weeks ago I had no ability to play the piece at all.

From the void, the nothingness that we came from, I stuck my hands in the cosmic cookie jar and I took a handful of skill out of it.

Watch how quickly you can improve at something only to start berating yourself like a Romanian gymnastics coach.

---

So I have no cure for procrastination other than to schedule a weekly lesson in whatever it is you’re doing.

And if not a lesson you can schedule to share a video with your friends of you doing the thing that you’re working on.

Not for the purpose of getting better, but as a yardstick to show you how challenging it is to stick to a schedule.

Make the commitment to yourself to do the things that you say you will do, when you say will do them.

You don’t have to do them well, you just have to be willing to stand in front of the fire and feel the warmth that comes from taking action, day after day.

It’s not easy, but a good teacher is not here to belittle you and walk ahead of you on the path.

It is the great teacher who is going to walk right alongside you.