Today’s email is being written in my housecoat at my new home at a resort in Runaway Bay in Jamaica.
I have a few stories to share so let’s hop to them.
Towel Service
On the first day I was given a towel in exchange for a blue card. I sat at the pool for a little bit and then forgot to return the towel for the card.
The next morning I stopped by the kiosk before it opened so I could get the card back. The man told me I need to have a towel in order to get the card back.
I explained it was my first day and I wasn’t aware of how things worked. He looked at my sternly and said, “Boy, you’re a cry baby, you came here for a vacation, are you going to enjoy yourself or not?”. I couldn’t have been more grateful for this roasting.
As you go through life, ask yourself if you’re willing to enjoy this vacation or if you’re being a cry baby?
Halifax, 6am
After towel service nightmare was rectified, I went to the beach and found that there was nowhere shady to sit. A row of women in their 60s were sitting at all the huts behind me.
I knew I couldn’t stay there for long but while I was cooking for a few minutes I found out these women are from Halifax, Nova Scotia, and they get their towel the night before to set it up at 6am at the beach.
They use the giant chip clips to secure the towels in this windy bay. Then they go to breakfast and return to their station for the first session. There is a lunch break and then they return for the afternoon until 4pm.
Loud American Breakfast
The restaurants at the resort have a way of pretending there is scarcity for reasons that go way beyond our current standard of thinking.
In a fairly empty dining hall, I am seated next to a large table of loud Americans. I ask if I can sit over there instead, and I am told the place is fully booked.
Instead of being a cry baby, I sit where I am told to. For a while I am cursing these people in my head, and then before you know it, the group packs up in leave. It’s not like they had to wait for a bill or anything.
I realized that everything is coming and going. What bothers us this hour will be completely forgotten in the next.
Don’t fixate on the large table of loud Americans in your life.
Housekeeping
I’ve had a few meetings since I arrived. One was involving the faint smell of cigarettes looming in the background. An oil diffuser was sent to my room for this purpose.
The main rainfall shower head is not sealed correctly and it will shoot water out in every direction other than down. But there is a secondary head that you can move to the top of the pole.
I asked my housekeeper Jessica if it’s worth having the main shower head fixed. We agreed that it should be fine to just stick with the secondary head.
My pillows are way too soft. I called the concierge to see if they have anything more firm. They said no. So I told them that I will just keep stacking them as need be.
Honey Hash Wet Suit
I arrive to the beach and a man is sitting in the water in a wet suit. He is holding a giant seashell that he can blow into to call me over. He offers me and anyone who comes within his range honey hash.
At some point he just goes underwater and disappears, with a sack on a rope following him.
The seashell is what screenplay writers call the macguffin. That is an object in films that get your attention or move the story forward.
It’s a great marketing trick. Use a giant seashell to get people’s attention, and then when you have it, offer them honey hash.
After a while, just go back to the bottom of the ocean and do it all over again the next day.
How was the honey hash?