Memories Stored in a Coupon Book
Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of The Sunday Bagel. We have a wonderful show lined up for you today which kicks off with a meditation on The American Dream.
This week I found a coupon book from McDonald’s in my mailbox. I never throw these things out because they are like a trip down memory lane.
2 Can Dine featuring Sprite and Nestea does not register anything for me, but Coupon B, Meal Deal with either a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder is what starts to bring back the memories. Even the price is impressive given how much all other food has gone up lately (Canadian dollars).
This is the life: You take a bite of the hamburger, and then you eat a few fries with it and let everything combine for a bit. And then you WASH THAT FUCKER DOWN with some Diet Coke.
And you just keep going at this cycle until the meal is done which shouldn’t take long. If you are a real champ, you’ll get off your ass and back to the cash register for a Chocolate Fudge Sundae or a McFlurry with Oreo.
Working from home in your underwear 4 days a week is not The American Dream, THIS is it, my friends.
You wanted to find enlightenment on the top of the Himalayas, but it was sitting in front of you this whole time at your local community centre, taking in all age groups and walks of life with the big arches out front.
You want an innocent Egg McMuffin and a coffee, they will help you out with this task. Not before long you start adding hashbrowns to the order like back in the day.
And then you’re back on the fatty, salty express after the coupon book arrives in your mailbox and you just can’t stop thinking about rinsing it down with a Diet Coke even though you’re past that stage in life, you moved on you tell yourself.
You’re a grown man, sophisticated who takes pride in his Perrier with a spritz of lemon. Oh no, not so fast.
I am Capitalism and I’m going to have you back in my arms for a one-night stand that you will be carrying with you for days with the cocktail of processed-food chemicals in the body.
I snicker to myself when I think about all the young parents who are proud of the fact that their young kids don’t eat McDonald’s. But sooner or later it will find its way in.
The grandparent who can’t handle much more than the outing at hand, or the birthday party that gets the full clip of Chicken McNuggets. And of course, if these people thought they had any chance at surviving, there is The Happy Meal for the TKO.
As the child grows into adolescence, they need the earnings from that pithy allowance or part-time job to go as far as possible, so not before long they are going there with their friends.
As they reach the experimental stoner years in which there is no real point of life, they will go in groups for late-night sessions and see how much food they can pack in before bed.
And at this point, they start to become conscious to adulthood, and gradually phase these Meal Deals out as they start to replicate and reproduce into the next generation who will live this cycle all over again until the planet is scorched from the machine that made it.
And you just wanted an innocent Egg McMuffin.
Three Ideas from My Notebooks
Ignore the opinions of other people that you don’t trust. It’s unrealistic and selfish to ignore the opinions of other people in general, but the best qualifier for considering that opinion is whether or not you trust that person.
The Tuck Your Phone into Bed Habit: I can watch TV before bed and still fall asleep fairly quickly. I realized that it’s the strong blue light from the phone right in front of my face, and the way that I engage with it, asking it questions which is the thing that keeps me up past the time I want to. My phone has a bed in the bathroom where it charges up at night, so find a bed for your phone and put it there at least an hour before bed.
Always work in passes or drafts. If you have an item on your to-do list and it says something like, “Send an email to _____”, it’s better to frame it as “Draft email to _____”. This takes the pressure off of finishing the task and having to send an email out. Everything you work on has a no-pressure, draft version associated with it.
I have started The Ideas Index, which takes all the Three Ideas going back to May 2023 and puts them on one page. You can scroll around and see where you land if you need some sort of creative boost. I will keep editing and cleaning this up over time.
Elliott’s New Album: The Revelation
Get ready because The Revelation will be released on Wednesday, January 17th.
Start to prime the pump of your mind that at some point before the end of the month you will take the time to hit play on this album.
Meditate on the idea that when the link is sent you to you, you will take the three clicks needed to immerse yourself in this world.
Cawfee Tawk
What is the funniest memory you have of going to McDonald’s over the years?
See you next week,
Elliott
Oh let me go first. One time my mom took me to McDonald's for lunch from school in and around grade 3 or 4. It felt like a special meal with her. And then the elderly man at the table next to us had some sort of critical health incident and most likely died on the spot.
I don’t think I have funny memories of going to Macca’s (it’s what the Aussies call McDonald's. Everything down here has a short form or nickname. McDonald’s even markets themselves as Macca’s here). I have so many happy memories.
I used to go with a friend I played basketball with who was 6’7. He used to order two meals both super sized after we would play a game. I’d never seen anything like it.
Another dear friend was forever getting fountain pops from them in the summer and taking advantage of their summer drink pricing.
I also used to get stoned and would often inhale multiple double cheeseburgers in Uni days after I’d been introduced to that particular burger by a friend. I’ve since tried the triple cheeseburger, but the double is still my fav.
I also always think of another dear friend when I see the filet o’ fish. He said he liked to get them because of how easily they slid down his throat. I never did ask if he liked the taste.
Every time I was Super Size me, I immediately want the Double Quarter Pounder with cheese meal that makes Morgan throw up out of his car window.
The addiction to Macca’s is real. I do fight it, but it’s always hanging over me like a little green devil telling me how good it would be to slam a meal from there no matter the time of day.
Xoxo